Sunday, August 26, 2012

Top 10 Etiquette Questions

1. How do you Address the Envelope?
Wedding Invitation:  The outside of the envelope is addressed to the formal names of the couple (i.e. Dr. and Mrs. Amato and family) inside the envelope is a more informal address where you address the inner envelope to each member  (Rusty, Melissa and Russell)
Save the Date: This is addressed the same way that the outside of the actual wedding invitation is addressed.
2.  How do you clarify that this is an Adult Only Reception?
The proper way to state that it is an adult only reception is to state "Adult Reception" on the actual invitation.
3. What are the responsibilities of everyone?
So, who is really responsible for what?  We live in America where the groom's family does not pay the bride's family a goat and a chicken when they are married.  So, in our society...who really pays for what? Lately, you have found that more and more people are getting married at a much older age than before so, you will find that most couples pay for their weddings all by themselves.  But, with that being said.  Here is a list of the items/services that are traditionally paid for by each side of the family. 
Bride's Family

Ceremony/Reception, Cost of Wedding Officiant, Invitations, Bridal Attire, Florist, Videographer, Musicians/DJ, Transportation, Bride's Gift to Groom and Bridal Party, Groom's Ring, Police Escort and Security needed at Venue, Accommodations for Bridal Attendants, Bridesmaid's Luncheon

Groom's Family
Bride's engagement and wedding ring, Photographer, Gift to Bride, The Officiant Fee, Marriage License, Honeymoon, Accommodations for Groom's Attendants

Bridal Party
Each responsible for their own dress/tux, shoes, jewelry, hair/makeup

4.When do you send the Thank You Notes?  And do you really have to anymore?  Can't I just email my thank you note?
Yes, you still send Thank You Notes.  You will need to send them as soon as you get back from your honeymoon or within one month after your wedding.  NO, you cannot email your thank you note.  A handwritten note is the least you can do for someone who attended your wedding and bought you a gift or at least sent a gift in their absence.  

5.What are the responsibilities of Maid of Honor?  What about the rest of the bridesmaids?
The maid of honor is the Bride's right hand woman.  You are the person who will be by her side at every dress store, cake testing, florist shop and attend every party/function held for the lovely couple.  You are the added support system that the Bride needs during this fun and exciting time of her life.  But, you are also the leader of the pack.  If there are other bridesmaids, then you will be communicating with them and coordinating the shower, parties and of course planning the bachelorette party!  Also, you may be expected to give a toast, if the bride wants you to at the reception or a reader at a church service.
The bridesmaids are responsible for helping out the maid of honor when she needs it.  You are responsible for showing up on time to every function/fitting/event and helping out whenever it is needed in whatever capacity
6.What are the responsibilities of Best Man?  What about the rest of the groomsmen?
Usually the Maid of Honor is the one who is overjoyed and excited about the wedding and willing to plan all events associated with the wedding.  You should be working with the Maid of Honor to ensure that these parties are properly planned.  If these parties are not planned out, you will need to ensure that they are.  Those parties include the wedding shower or the couple's shower.  Also, you are responsible for planning the bachelor party along with the other groomsmen.  You are also the leader of the pack.  If there are any other groomsmen, you will need to communicate with them and ensure that everyone knows the details of every party/fitting/etc... 
The Groomsmen are responsible for helping out the best man when he needs it.  You are responsible for showing up on time to every function/fitting/event and helping out whenever it is needed in whatever capacity. 

Do I have to buy a gift?
Yes, you do have to buy a gift.  If you are in the wedding, traditionally, you and the other members of the bridal party all contribute to one gift that you give the bride and groom.  If you are an out of town guest, yes you are still expected to bring a gift.  Even if you do not know the bride and groom very well, yes you are expected to bring a gift. 

Do I have to RSVP?
 Yes, Yes, Yes!  In order to have proper seating for everyone at the wedding, you must RSVP.  If you do not RSVP, the bride and groom will not expect for you to be there and there will be no seat/plate for you or your guest.  Also, only RSVP for those invited on the invitation.  Do not invite those who are not included in the invitation.
I am having a small wedding, is it wrong to ask your guests to BYOB?
Is it wrong?  No.  Is it declasse?  Yes.   In order to save money and cut corners, offer wine, beer and soft drinks.  You do not have to have a full premium bar in order to have a classy affair.
If the bride is pregnant, can she wear white?
It is her day.  Let her wear whatever color she chooses.  The tradition of wearing a white dress became popular after Queen Victoria wore it in 1840.  Before that, the color of choice!  Yes, red!  Before that, brides just chose the best dress in their closet and chose to wear that dress.  So, either you believe in the 172 year old tradition or not.  It is her day and she can wear hot fuchsia pink if that makes her feel like the prettiest bride on her day. 

Do you have any other questions, please feel free to post here or email me directly.